To say I was concerned walking over to the field was an understatement. Maybe it was the weight of the cooler filled with chilling Gatorade; or the obvious infestation of man-eating mosquitoes; or it also could have been the sight of a well-uniformed group of boys that looked like they might be pushing eighteen. Yeah, I think it was the latter. And I was mentally preparing myself for a dugout filled with boys in tears in the aftermath.

Jon is coaching Connor’s team again and a few of us parents are trying to help where we can. It’s been fun to watch this group of boys transition from an initial practice of complete chaos to learning how to field the ball (occasionally) and swinging at a ball that’s coming at them vs. just attempting to smack it off a tee. Still, though, most of these boys looked big and the first thing Jon said to me was that the coach would warn us when his big hitters were up. Greeeeaaat. I was just hoping for a few of our boys to hit the ball. I certainly wasn’t planning on seeing anything roll out of the infield.

Just ahead of the game’s start, we huddled in and said, “Go, Hopkins!” and were off. And  we were up to bat first. And our boys were hitting the ball! We actually got through eight of our batters in the first half of the inning. When we went out in the field, I took another deep breath and thought, ‘It will be over soon. They can’t all hit the ball that far.’ Suddenly, we escaped the inning without allowing them to score.

And so went the rest of the game. Our boys played amazingly well for a younger team. (There are only a few eight-year-olds. The other team had kids who were nine … I still think they may have been pre-teen, but whatever.) Shoot, they just played amazingly well.

We got through three innings in the hour and a half allotted for play. Yes, three. And thankfully, we didn’t get eaten alive and we even pulled out of there with a “W” (even though we’re all winners and not supposed to keep score). Doesn’t everyone root for the underdog?

one special kid

May just happens to be National Celiac Disease Awareness Month. Last May, I wouldn’t have known that. I mean, I knew people at the time that were dealing with celiac but it was definitely not on my radar as a concern.

I’ve written about how we learned of Connor’s diagnosis last October, but I wanted to spend a bit more time talking about the disease in general. I mean, we’re just about seven months into the major diet shift and guess what?! We are healthy. With that, a little bit about what celiac means for us.

Connor now tells everyone (proudly) he is “gluten free”.

Gluten is an evil little thing (for some). It’s a protein that can be found in wheat, rye, barley and oats. And, for those living with celiac, gluten attacks these little hairs, or villi, in their intestinal tract. The thing about those villi is that they absorb the nutrients from our food, and without those, well, our bodies become susceptible to a whole host of other rotten things.

Ever since Connor was a little dude, he’s had stomach aches here and there. He also struggled with not being able to “go”. The latter part is a bit atypical of the common Celiac kid, which is why he probably wasn’t considered a candidate earlier on.

What struck me last summer was that he was not only having that one issue, but he was also telling me he was tasting acid in his throat. Light.bulb. We got him in to his doctor and she ordered an x-ray of his tummy along with a blood test to determine if he was sensitive to gluten. The x-ray showed that he was definitely having some trouble, but the blood test also came back positive.

And then, as I wrote before, in October, he underwent an endoscopy so they could get a biopsy to determine if he did, in fact, have celiac.

At first, he was definitely bummed about things like cereal and bread and mac n’ cheese, but we learned quickly that there were alternatives. Yay!

The best part has been the past few months where I’ve noticed CJ really accepts and lives the gluten-free life. He alerts people to the fact that he needs to avoid gluten and he thinks before putting something in his mouth because likely, at this point, he would not feel so hot if he happened to consume the nasty g-word. And thank goodness in January, for the very first time, he told me unprompted that he feels so much better eating gluten free and my heart soared.

Shopping is overwhelming … at first

I probably went nuts a bit too quickly (as I typically do) and bought gluten free everything because I wanted to be safe. I’d cleaned out my pantry the day we found out and felt like I had nothing for CJ to eat. I also bought a new toaster as the dietitian suggested. She advised that pots and pans and utensils and things (as long as they were washed in hot enough water) wouldn’t need to be replaced. Phew.

If I were to do it a bit differently, I would have bought one of a couple of things so Connor could try and see what he liked. Instead of rice pasta, for instance, he prefers corn (I highly recommend Trader Joe’s corn pasta … cheap and delicious). He really loves rice, so that’s been a helpful alternative and it’s naturally gluten free.

I tried a few organic cereals and in addition to being expensive, they also tasted like cardboard. Now we get our fill of Chex (Honey Nut and Cinnamon varieties, FTW!), Gluten Free Rice Krispies and Fruity Pebbles. I try to go light on the Pebbles given they are basically colored pieces of sugar.

As for bread … we like Udi’s bread (found in your grocer’s freezer section), and it’s delicious for a grilled cheese but I’ve finally accepted that pulling it out of the freezer first thing in the morning and allowing it to thaw does not work for a lunch sandwich five hours later. He now will happily eat meat wrapped around cheese for me. Bread, I would say, has been the toughest thing for us so we keep testing different brands and seeing what works. I need to just break down and buy a bread maker. I’m sure I’d have a happy little bread-eater on my hands again if I could figure out the right mix.

The thing for many that is awesome when it comes to living a gluten-free lifestyle is that if you eat clean, your’e golden. Fruits and veggies and most meats are completely free of gluten naturally.

After crying the first few times I was at the grocery store, it’s become much easier and almost natural for us to completely skip the bread aisle. And other products. Don’t forget gluten can be hidden in anything so it’s helpful to read all labels.

There are tons and tons of resources

Given that the diagnosis of celiac is on a major upswing, there are tons and tons of resources and manufacturers committed to protecting that population. Udi’s not only makes great bread, but they have a great community where people can share about understanding the gluten-free life, tips and recipes. There are also subscription-based magazines like Living Without if you’re into the whole “snail mail” thing.

But there are also a great number of advocates. One of my favorites is Rachel Martin over at Finding Joy. Her son has celiac and her words inspired this post. She is all over the subject of celiac disease and is actually quite active over at the Udi’s community.

And there are friends. There are friends and family who face celiac and we can all share and talk to each other about how to deal. It’s not “easy,” but we’re doing it and I have a pretty darn picky kid. But I love him. And I’ll do whatever is required to ensure he lives a long, happy and healthy life.

I’ll probably write another post here soon about some of the other things we’ve learned but figured I bored y’all enough for now. Thanks for learning with us.

budding

How can you not feel pushed into going out and running a few miles motivated by the positivity (which, by the way, WordPress tells me isn’t a word. pfft.) exuding from such activity like:

“After two weeks off of running, massages, yoga, new shoes, foam rolling & cross training my a$$ off…I successfully ran over 6 miles with no pain! My half is two weeks away. Thought I was going to have to sell my bib. So happy!” – from Gina (sorry, Gina, expletives removed for our young readers)

“Just finished my first race and had an awesome time!” – from Carly

“Unbelievable! We are done! Without a doubt, this was the hardest race I have even competed in. …” – from Sarah

“Well I only ran the 10k but I made my goal time!” – from Conan

Seriously, I have some amazingly accomplished friends and coworkers. It isn’t just about running, though. I’ve spoken about the power of Zumba before as well. When you’re surrounded by people with a common goal, you can’t help but feel compelled to be … to do, well, better.

As I was talking to my coworker about her amazing run at the Fifth Third River Bank Run, she made a comment about having people cheer her on like that every day and it got me thinking. No, really, what if we were able to walk around every day (in whatever we’re doing) with the feeling that comes at the finish of a race? Seriously. I don’t know if you’ve ever been a part of a race or a Zumba class or a triathlon, but I know that I’ve never felt like so.many.people were literally on my team as I did during those experiences. Likely, the finish of the half-marathon and 25k a couple years back (I know … slacker!) were the best.

So, here’s the challenge. Whatever you’re doing tomorrow … do it with gusto. Do it like there are throngs of people who have no idea who you are (and maybe even better those who do) standing there encouraging you along the way!

If you’re a mom, imagine your children are your cheering section. I know that I told CJ that if he acted like he did on Mother’s Day every day, I would feel like a flipping rock star. I could do no wrong!

If you’re heading into the office, imagine everyone on your team is really on your team. I know sometimes that seems tough, but humor me. If all you have to do tomorrow is take a drive somewhere, reverse your mindset about that guy that cut you off. Wave (with five fingers) even! Let him know you’re cheering him on as he weaves in and out of traffic. Great job, dipstick guy-I-don’t-know!

This might sound silly, but more often than not, people really are on our team. A guy who comes into our office to train folks noted that during a presentation, the audience typically wants to see us do well. It’s our own fear and insecurity that allows us to believe otherwise. These individuals are our cheering section. We just decide not to believe it instead of running with it. Trust me, run with it. Then, tell me about it. I’d love to hear how much better you feel as a result.

Some days … your head hurts. You may look angry when someone does you a favor and you can’t respond with a smile because it hurts too much. You may have trouble seeing even. You may even accidentally drop a dish while trying to put it in the dishwasher. Oh, how pain in your head can control absolutely everything.

Some days … you immediately allow your little guy to talk you out of grocery shopping (which would have made the most sense) to just sit on the couch and watch a movie. Because, well, your head hurts and that feels much, much easier than the next couple hours of anything else.

Some days … you put much less enthusiasm into giving a voice to all of the characters in Llama Llama Misses Mama, but you still do it because you would give your left pinky to hear the laughter that erupts when you keep saying, “I want meeeeelk!” for the kitty in the book. C’mon, you know you do it, too. Right?

Lest anyone think that some days never exist around here, they do. And everywhere else, in fact. And I guess my point is that they are allowed and sometimes, unavoidable.

I just hope for you, and for me, that these “some days” are very few and far between.

I’ve never stopped believing that nurse was right and it becomes more evident as he gets older. Connor is, indeed, wise for his age. Sometimes his wisdom is misguided and sometimes I know it’s because he’s already been through so much at his young age, but he’s wise nonetheless. 

The last couple of months, I’ve seen his level of sympathy, and even empathy, grow immensely. When my Uncle Harry died, he knew I was hurting and he took extra good care of me, but when we lost Paul so suddenly, he talked his dad into coming to see me at work so he could give me a hug. He knew I was very, very sad and he was concerned about how I was doing.

I still find myself getting emotional (which I guess is not at all surprising given that I’m 1.) a woman, 2.) a sap as it is and 3.) a woman) … usually while we’re in the car listening to songs and I hear three of the songs that I CAN.NOT. hear without thinking of Paul. Connor will also tear up and talk about how he misses him. It’s very sweet.

Today, Connor’s BFF was hurt during recess and when I called him to see how he was doing he seemed distracted fine. As the evening wore on and we spent more time together at practices and then at home, he became super-emotional. He cried and worried about his friend’s recovery … how long it would take, if he would be ‘different’. I assured him that although his friend was in some pain now that, in time, he would recover and be back to his crazy, high-flying (if his mom will ever let him out of the house again!) self.

I’m proud of my boy with the old soul. I hope he continues to feel those things with and for other people. Well, sympathy and empathy that is. His latest fascination about having a crush on a certain adorable girl in his class is a different matter entirely.

petals

Basically, I didn’t have anyone to take a photo. Like a friend. At the moment. Well, I have friends. I think.

Anyway … I HATE seeing myself in photos. It’s that visual reminder that I really do appear to be getting older. Thankfully, I just started using eye cream so that should help. Right?

I posted just recently about needing to chop the mop. It was, as I mentioned, getting out of control. Hairs were everywhere. I started sharing just where and didn’t want anyone throwing up in their mouth.

I was reminded of a friend who owns a hair and day spa in Kalamazoo and the rest, as they say, is history. She was so excited that I reached out to go on a a quick weight loss plan at her establishment. I actually (don’t laugh) scheduled the appointment this morning. As in, 10:00 a.m. EDT today. Sheri had let me know last week that she was a couple weeks out … because why wouldn’t she be? She’s the bomb-diggity! For those unaware, Urban Dictionary defines that as: Totally the awesomest, no lie. And she totally is … the awesomest. So, I called and one of her stylists, Stephanie, said she would gladly take the scissors to the mess.

I left the office just before my appointment. I took a moment to grab a “selfie”. I only took one because, hey, it wasn’t going to get much better.

yee-ikes.

I make that face because I think it’s hilarious when my neck thing-ies stick out like that. It makes me chuckle. Oh, and I make that face when I am fuh-reaking out.

I went to Avanté Hair & Day Spa to meet with Stephanie. She really was so excited to chop-chop. We got four ponytails in place and she asked if I was ready as she cut the first hair. She really didn’t let me have a chance to respond; it’s probably better that way.

Anyway, about an hour later, I asked them if I could step on the scales. The weight loss plan worked! Maybe 3-4 pounds lighter? I saw my hair on the little cart and couldn’t believe how much sat there. It really is beautiful hair and I’m really happy that I have the opportunity to share it with someone else that might need it significantly more than I do*.

I took another “selfie” when i got in the car.

a smile even!

When I got home I thought I could get a better shot. Maybe I should have used the word assume … because we should never do such a thing?

take 24

I won’t talk about the 300 shots I took when I got home. Did you know that, for some folks, there is no such thing as “good light”?

senior pic pose

This one was for my mama because I think she has a senior pic in my old bedroom that looks exactly like this. What is it with the head tilt?

yay for the pony!

And miracle of miracles, I can still throw it up in the pony/bun thing! Color me ecstatic.

It’s just hair. I posted that with my cut hair photo earlier. It could grow back and I could even get extensions. Stephanie (the adorable young lady who cut my hair) told me I could.

Thank you, Sheri and Stephanie, for lifting this weight from me! I’m sure Connor will thank you, too.

*I’m planning to donate my hair to the Pantene Beautiful Lengths program. We’re right at that eight inch mark so I’m hopeful they’ll accept!

Filed under: the road to acceptance Tagged: absence of fear, appreciating the journey, celebrate, change, confidence, friends, self-esteem ]]> http://abrandnewending.com/2013/05/06/a-little-before-and-after/feed/ 3 staciandcj yee-ikes. a smile even! photo 1 photo 2 photo 3 http://abrandnewending.com/2013/05/02/pray-er/ http://abrandnewending.com/2013/05/02/pray-er/#comments Fri, 03 May 2013 02:29:10 +0000 staci http://abrandnewending.com/?p=1581 Continue reading →]]>

unfortunately, he may have gotten this from me.

Okay, so the photo has nothing to do with the post. It just made me giggle. And would you look at those skinny little legs?! He definitely doesn’t get that from his mother!

Anyway, when Connor and I have just a couple of days together, I always get super sad when we get home late. But, Spring means sports and sports means less time at home. That’s just the way it is. Of course I love it. I love watching Connor play soccer and baseball. I love (for roughly 5.25 minutes) when he demands playing on the playground after practices or games, and when he makes goofy faces at me because he is annoyed I’m trying to capture another photo. 

Given it was a late evening, we ate dinner around (don’t judge me) 7:45. We finished our homework around 8:30 and then I forced him into the shower immediately after. He caught me doing a quick round of exercises when he got out so then he decided to lift some weights. As soon as we knew it, it was bedtime (9:00 on a school night … which is funny because I was telling a friend yesterday that’s essentially the earliest he’s ever gone to bed … in his entire life).

He begged me for about five minutes to sleep in my bed. I hemmed and hawed and finally relented. Again, stop with the judging! In my defense, I just read a post from a friend last night that her son said it was probably the last time he would ask his mom to tuck him in and I bawled like a little baby got all teary!

Connor was ecstatic that I allowed this. I mean, he inevitably winds up in my bed between 3 and 5 in the morning on any other night we’re together, so to him, it just made sense that he would start there. After we brushed teeth, he climbed in and said, “Okay mom, let’s pray”.

I posted a while ago about how his prayers were evolving so I’m happy to announce that he’s started to include extended family. Phew. But, he’s also continuing to think outside of himself and he prays for my second cousin, Nathaniel. He’s been in Afghansitan for the past several months and we’re anxiously awaiting his safe return home to Rockford, IL!

Tonight he prayed:

Dear Jesus, thank you for this day. Thank you for moms and dads and grandmas and grandpas, cousins, aunts and uncles. Please be with Nathaniel so he has a safe trip home. I hope I can see him again soon. Please just let tomorrow be a good, fun day and I hope we have a good summer. Amen.

Amen, indeed! I’m so proud that 1.) he’s in my bed 1.) he asked to pray and 2.) that he’s becoming (at least when he prays!) so considerate of other people and their needs. Recently, he’s prayed for another cousin who suffered a heart attack and is recovering, and he’s also included Paul’s family, and Paul. He hopes he’s having fun with Jesus.

My cup runneth over.