My gracious Lord in Heaven it’s been a minute. Did you miss me? … Don’t answer that.

Life has been all kinds of happening as it often does. It’s sort of the last actual day of summer and I promised myself if I got my tasks checked off my list that I could treat myself to a beach town wander. It’s been lovely. But, this was also a thing on my list so here I sit at my favorite coffee shop willing myself not to tear up.

Because I just do. As of late, it’s driven by the fact that I have a senior. In high school. And I just can’t with it. I mean, how does that happen the second a child turns 15 that they are suddenly choosing which colleges to apply to and willing the days away to get to graduation?! I’m not here for it. But I guess I don’t have an actual choice so part of what also makes me tear up is the thought that I’ve been climbing this incredible mountain to get to myself for so long.

What’s ironic is that I’ve just finished reading this book called ‘The Mountain is You.’ And if you’ve ever needed a book to punch you squarely in the jaw, this one is it. I’m going to start reading it again, actually. I also bought a workbook. I’m serious about this.

In short, the book is about self-sabotage and how we have to identify the unconscious needs that we’re actually meeting with this self-sabotaging behavior and, well, break all of it apart and find our power to be who we actually are. (I’m using my own language because being who I actually am is what feels like that mountain I’ve been climbing)

So the irony is that I am also obsessed with mountains. I want to take pictures of every single one of them and while I’m not sure I could climb many of them, I want to. And that feels like it matters. I also wouldn’t mind living by them but my mom threatens to take CJ from me every time I talk about it.

What feels like forever ago now, I started having this dream of creating a community of humans who are also realizing that life is actually lived in the middle … that we’re somewhere between eden and, to put it in a less gloomy sense, dust. That’s the reality for a Jesus follower. And for many of us, it’s in the middle of other things as well. We are navigating our own recovery whether it be from childhood trauma, loss of relationship, loss of loved ones, loss of just that sense of who we even are. And, for me that also includes recovery from eating disorder.

So while I was stewing on this dream, I reached out to a good friend and shared my idea with her. She came up with some branding and imagery based on what I’d shared and well … the mountains came back. Of course I’d shared some of that with her but I also didn’t expect how full circle this would come and how I’d realize that I’m just at that point where the self-sabotaging strategies I’ve clung to are no longer serving me. You’ll have to read the book to learn more and I highly suggest you do because, well, we all have them.

Mostly, I’m just terrified of putting myself out there and completely nose-diving. Or being judged. Or being rejected. Or just having it not well thought-through enough.

But it actually doesn’t matter. Because the more I hold this in, the more antsy I get and while life continues to just do what it does, I need to find my own space to occupy and this feels right.

Anyway, the mountain. I was trying to figure out how to share this new thing and I looked at my darn desktop and there it was … essentially the same view as the logo my wicked talented friend created. Oh, hey God. And thank you.

I remember the time I was sitting on this rooftop in Guatemala looking out and having this unexplainable feeling of peace. Everything was as it should be and yet I still had no flipping clue what I was doing. The middle.

Several years later and I still don’t have a clue about what I’m doing but I’m going to honor this climb and put this thing out into the world. There will be much more to come as I navigate what this looks like for me and how I can best serve you in your own journey. But you should know that my passions are largely centered around wholeness … how we nourish our good body and how we also move our good body. But it’s also how we love, honor and take care of her to embrace this space that we currently occupy.

Because what the breaking will do is expose something new; something that you’ve likely always had but just didn’t have the awareness to tap into. And it’s backed by Jesus. The idea of restoration is not new. In fact, one passage I’ve clung to in 1st Peter 5:10 shares:

“and then, after your brief suffering, the God of all loving grace, who has called you to share in his eternal glory in Christ, will personally and powerfully restore you and make you stronger than ever. yes, he will set you firmly in place and build you up.” (tpt)

I’ve created a new site that will be the home for this thing. And, I’m honestly not sure what happens here. I’m still living a brand new ending but I’m also finding the beauty of living into where I am right here in the middle. And that feels pretty great. I just know that I want to invite you to join me.

https://www.restore-d.life