I have a short story to share with you, my dear readers.

Connor had soccer practice this evening.

His coach asked the kids to line up after getting a drink.

Connor burped (loudly).

Because of his noisy outburst, Coach Maule let the team know they could run around the end goal and back.

When they got back, he was giving him a hard time and so Connor responded with what I’m sure was something he heard on TV … or on the radio … or from Siri. He said, “Well, my mom has gas.”

I started dying inside so all I could do was laugh.

I laughed uncomfortably for what felt like ten minutes while his coach also shared that moms don’t fart … they burp out of their butts.

More uncomfortable laughter.

Tonight at the football game, I learned the story had gone viral and now everyone thinks I have gas.

Well, Connor James, at least (if I really did have gas) I keep it to myself.

The end.

P.S. I’m only sharing this story because 1.) I believe in transparency with my readers and you already promised you wouldn’t judge me. Ever. And 2.) I never, ever want to forget how funny my kid is.