it’s not about the dance

Remember how we made a big deal about Homecoming and the fact that it was our first big dance (because of the coco) and CJ and his darling girlfriend indulged me with a pre-photo session? No? Well, I do! I bring it up only because we did not have the same enthusiasm about Winter Follies. Or maybe it was just about having photos taken. ‘don’t worry, mom, we’ll just get a few pictures at Abby’s.’ And I heard, ‘ugh … mommmmmm. i can drive now. i don’t actually need you for anything but car insurance and a bed to lie down in when i get home.’ Funny the stories we come up with on our own.

But, I need you to know I did win. With the help of Abby’s mom, Pam, who likely has more influence on CJ than I do. I say that because he cleans at her house, bakes and eats things like pineapple. And because she said, ‘oh, we’re getting pictures!’

I also want to state for the record that I remembered the corsage this time and CJ questioned if that was something we had to get for every dance. This is why the men need the women. Even after they can drive.

Thankfully, it worked out that we could meet up in Allegan before dinner so I could very quickly snag a few photos because … winter. My heart went out to Abby because she must have been freezing but she complained zero times. Connor, on the other hand, my goodness. The boy wears shorts half the winter and had on long sleeves and slacks and still said no less than twelve times how cold he was. Deal, child. Deal.

Seriously, though, I’m thankful the two of them offered up the time and space for me to capture this sweet moment in time. I love them both so much and although dinner didn’t quite work out like they’d hoped (McD’s drive-thru and Rite Aide candy for the win), I gave them the award for best-dressed.

What Connor shared with me the next day, though, was what struck me. He said he really liked the events of spirit week; the activities leading up to Saturday’s dance more than the dance itself. He may have talked about grinding but we won’t get into that here.

I thought it was a really great metaphor for what I’ve worked so intently on practicing. This life isn’t about the big dance. I was just talking with a friend about getting ‘there,’ like do we know where ‘there’ is? And are we even meant to get to it? Can we just take a minute to see that each of the days leading us to the dance are actually the most fun? That we can actually just choose to have so much joy in the process? I think we can. I’d dare say we should but I don’t like to should anyone. I guess I’d just encourage some thinking around that. I continue to find that as much as I try to teach CJ as we go that he just does so often teach me. I pray our ears, eyes and hearts can be open to the fun that awaits us today.

And, shoot, let’s just get dressed up for the dance whenever we feel like it. Just look at these dang kids.

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