oh, mother

It wasn’t too long ago one of my BFFs posted about the mommy wars that are all too common on the interwebs. Most commonly, you hear women comparing the challenges of being a SAHM or WOHM  (which, to be honest, was an entirely new acronym for me … but I like it!) and which is “harder”. I don’t like to put my thoughts out there all the time on such heated topics because I’m too sensitive to get flamed. Note to all readers: my tender heart can’t take meanness so keep it to yourself or just talk behind my back. Whichever. 

I work full-time outside of the home. Do I want to work full-time? Of course I do! I’m just kidding; or maybe I’m not … I like to leave my employer guessing. When it comes right down to it, the changes in my life require that I do work full-time so I can do things like earn money and maintain benefits, etc. Before, I guess you could call it a choice but I might still beg to differ. I tend to do that.

I also consider myself a full-time mom. I mean, why shouldn’t I? Just because I’m at work doesn’t mean that I’m not a parent any longer. It does mean that I have empowered others to care for my son during the days we get to spend together; whether he’s in school, or at daycare, or with my nieces. I still do things that affect him during the day like prepare his meals and take him to and from dentist or doctor’s appointments, etc. Does all of this mean I have it easier than a mom who stays at home?

Now, I have never been a stay-at-home-mom. I guess I was for the twelve weeks after I gave birth to that beautiful little monkey, but that would be it. I have no idea how difficult days are for moms who stay at home (I can say that I’ve been with Connor for a week straight on vacations and such so I don’t feel like I’m totally clueless) but I have a huge amount of respect for each and every woman who does stay at home. Why shouldn’t I?

Tonight, it was just one little (I’m sure) innocent comment that got me going and I just needed to vent. I would never fault a mother for doing what she felt was best for her family if that’s what worked for them. Does staying home make you a better mom? Not necessarily. Is it harder to work outside of the home than to stay at home full-time? Not necessarily. Could this debate be resolved if we would all just give each other some grace and stop judging each other? Probably.

So, I’ll keep on keeping on as a WOHM doing the best job I can to love on and give my son everything he could ever need to become an amazing Godly man. And, I’ll keep supporting my friends whether they do the same or are of the SAHM variety. We should all be in this together, anyway.

4 thoughts on “oh, mother

  1. Love this line — “I also consider myself a full time mom. Why shouldn’t I?” I couldn’t agree more; we never stop being moms — even when they are adults!

    I am of the belief it takes a village — but I will always think of myself as her tribe leader, her mom. Likewise, you’re CJ’s tribe leader — the most influential person in his life, regardless of where you spend your daytime hours. He isn’t as amazing as he is for no reason — good work, mama! 🙂

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