good for the soul

I was looking forward to this past weekend for no other reason than that I had no plans. Aside from working on some recent sessions, I was committed only to church and luckily, to see a movie with CJ (Wreck It Ralph 3D … two thumbs up!).

As I should have guessed, the weekend didn’t really turn out that way. Thankfully.

See, I’ve spent a good amount of my time without CJ alone. It’s not because I don’t enjoy being around people (I’m pretty social by nature); but because I struggle knowing where exactly I fit now. A few times I’ve felt very third- or even fifth-wheelish (I’m aware I just made that up) and that is … less than ideal. So, instead, I’ll process photos, take on projects, go hunting for antiques or go for a long bike ride, or … you get the idea. Essentially, I do as much as I possibly can in the time that I’m not with Connor to 1.) keep my mind occupied and 2.) ensure that when he is with me I don’t feel like I have to accomplish the other, less important, stuff.

Anyway, I made some good progress on photos Friday night and decided to throw in an old movie because I was sick of seeing political ads. Why on the Good Lord’s green earth I decided to watch My Life I will NEVER understand. Needless to say, the tears flowed freely and as the movie wrapped up, I realized I couldn’t spend the entire weekend working on photos. Alone.

So, I grabbed my phone and texted my daughter (from another mother). She responded quickly and I suggested we meet up so I could meet her beautiful new daughter. (Which, when I think about it means I’m a … grandma? I’m still trying to reconcile how all that works given my very young age). Anyway, I knew that committed me to something.

Saturday became very different than I’d anticipated as I spent an hour in the morning chatting (on the phone … this never happens) with a friend I rarely get to talk with as she’s moved from coast-to-coast in the last couple of years. Anyway, time well spent. I needed to talk with her and I told her how thankful I was that she called because once again, I was reminded of how special a friend she is. She just gets me. It’s uncommon. I don’t even get myself obviously. In the afternoon, I made the trip out to visit my daughter and her precious miracle (who slept soundly on my lap for over an hour). Again, time well spent. I loved hearing about her daughter’s arrival and just being in her presence. She and her hubby are good people.

Sunday, too, went differently than expected. I went to church as planned and then I got to spend a few, very precious, hours with CJ. After that, though, I went to my parents’ to visit some family up from Texas as they’d made an unplanned trip. Again, more talking. Again, knowing it was time well spent. I didn’t get home until after eight on Sunday night.

I spent very little time alone this past weekend. It was awesome. I can’t say that means I’m going to be out and about all the time going forward as I still have my fifth-wheel issues to deal with (no, I don’t own or plan to buy a fifth-wheel). But, it does mean I took some steps forward instead of back, and that’s really, really good for my soul.

letters to the editor

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