I had this thing today and the woman asked me what I was concerned about. I had to think for a second because it’s not often that someone asks you something like that, especially in that context.
I was thinking about it this afternoon because at the time, I honestly felt a little dumb because I stuttered through an ‘i don’t know.’ And as I considered her words again, in that context, my hunch is that, occasionally, someone could be afraid of the outcome.
And because today is Good Friday.
I realized as I thought about it, I’m afraid of a lot. Like, a lot. I’m less fearful than I used to be, for sure. But it’s taken me a lot of time and a lot of work to get there. The one thing I am absolutely not afraid of though is the outcome. And to be 100% honest, it’s the one thing that gets me through when the rest of life feels like it’s going off the rails. And I feel like, for some crazy reason, my life goes off the rails on the regular. It’s like Jesus is constantly like, ‘woman, would you just take my hand and walk with me because clearly? you ain’t got this.’ And I’m like that little kid in Meijer on the floor kicking and screaming because the Barbie I want has to stay on the shelf. (Please know this isn’t an admission of something that happened to me as a child. I would NEVER lay on the floor at Meijer. Now Target is another matter.)
But this isn’t about surrender. Or is it?
We talked last week in church about Jesus weeping over Jerusalem because He knew what lie ahead for them. He knew that they would reject Him and that it was too late. And because He was fully man, it hurt like a (beep).
He had already surrendered once in the garden knowing that was the will God had chosen for Him and now here He was again. In this place of surrender. And he wept.
I haven’t gotten through Good Friday in a number of years without tears. Or any Friday, for that matter. I’m kidding. A little. But on this Friday, my heart hurts. Like I said, Jesus knew what lie ahead. But He had already committed to give it all up because He loves YOU and ME that much. And how do I respond to that?
I fight it. Every.dang.day.
And then I feel kinda dumb again. Because I’ve struggled with this fear of being fully loved and fought for for much of my adult life. But then I remember that there is no man who has ever shown me the true meaning of love the way Jesus did and that because of that great sacrifice, I don’t have to be afraid.
And neither do you.
You don’t have to be afraid of sharing what makes you, well, you.
You don’t have to be afraid of being that vulnerable.
You don’t have to be afraid of what others might think.
You don’t have to be afraid of being known.
You don’t have to be afraid of … every other little thing I could list here (and I’ll tell you what, I could go on and on for days with this one!). So while you can, be courageous. Love hard. And love well. Love like He loves you. I don’t know about you, but I want to show Him that I realize just how beautiful the pain of that love is.
Know why? Because it. is. finished. And because that epic display of perfect love has every intention of casting out all the fear. And you never ever (ever) have to question the outcome again.
So while the darkness hovers hard and heavy on this Friday, Sunday’s coming, my friends.
P.S. Believe that you are loved that much. He fights for you even if your life is off the rails, too.
P.P.S. Listen to this song from an album a good friend shared with me. It is so, so Good Friday good.