A few weeks ago, I was minding my own business at band practice (oh, who am I kidding? I don’t mind my own business) and in walks Doug. I can almost NEVER guess what Doug is going to say when he approaches me. Is it going to be nice? Snarky? Gross? I just.don’t.know. His first question was, ‘So, what does your vacation schedule look like?’ 

I know my look matched my confused, ‘Huh?’ I naturally said, ‘Well that depends on what you’re asking.’ He let me know that a leader had to back out of their upcoming mission trip and my name popped up as someone who might be crazy enough willing to come along in his place. He actually told me they wanted someone who would be willing to stay awake at night with the kids. Wait. What? Sounds fishy.

As soon as he asked me, my inner voice said, ‘Yep, I’ll go.’ But first I had to stop and think about all of it. I told him I would do some thinking and get back to him.

There are a ton of reasons it doesn’t make sense for me to go to Guatemala:

• I hate the thought of leaving Connor
• I am in the midst of a new program implementation at work. It launches literally two days after I get back
• I don’t know several of the kids who have worked very hard to go on this trip
• I’m not prepared
• I don’t have a raincoat (we’ll be in the mountains)
• I might not even survive if I have to live on two showers in over a week

Well, maybe there is only one reason. I don’t want to leave Connor. That’s what weighed on me most. He was also hesitant when I asked him what he thought. The good news was just a week or two later, a missionary who spends much of his time in Papua, New Guinea spoke in church and CJ said that he’d rather me go to Guatemala than that place. Think insects …

But at the end of the day, I told him that my hope was that when he’s a teen/adult he’ll also want to be a part of mission trips because there just isn’t any experience that brings you closer to God. Literally, I’ll be closer. The elevation is over 5,000 feet in Antigua Guatemala, the city we’ll call home for several days.

Not long after Doug talked to me and I had talked to Connor, I attended a fundraiser at which the overarching theme was ‘here I am’. When I got home that night, I had a message from Doug’s wife, Sally. She apologized (silly girl) for how long the process was taking but asked if I was a definite if all of the leaders agreed and I shared the message from the presentation that night. Sally said she felt like the Spirit was telling her that I should go and that she might have to get pushy if the other leaders weren’t going to listen. How cool is that?! Also, I would not want to go up against Sally in a fight; just sayin’.

So, here I am.

I still have a lot to take care of before I embark on this journey with these amazing people (I really do feel so blessed and humbled to share the company of this group) and I’m extremely nervous/anxious/feeling inadequate, but I feel like this truly WAS a God thing. He knew my heart when the conversation about this trip first came up and he knows it now.

Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged, for the Lord your God will be with you wherever you go.  – Joshua 1:9