I whispered these words with an almost desperate sincerity in a prayer recently. And, in that moment, I’ll be honest … I didn’t believe He could.
You know how you hear or see something multiple times in a week and how you feel like, ‘ok, God, i hear/see you. i’ll get it out.’
Prior to this <airquotes>spring</airquotes>, I would have told you I lived in West Michigan. Lately, I’d have to say it’s up for debate as there is a bit of a Seattle-y feel; what with our consistently overcast skies and 20-90% chances for precipitation on any given day. And honestly? I’m not even complaining.
But the farmers are.
I had the opportunity to witness a ‘drop the mic’-like situation happen at work this week. We were nearing the conclusion of our monthly all-staff meeting. And it was one for the books. The energy was awesome, people were engaged and we just had some really great content shared throughout. Also, on another positive note, I’d only been made fun of about six times (which is basically par for the course #easytarget). But when Mike (our office lead, aka big cheese) concluded the meeting with an acknowledgement that we have a choice to make, it struck me. It wasn’t just about work for me. It was about all the things.
Are you ready to talk Tuesday? Isn’t that how they always tell people to keep going … one day at a time? I mean, I don’t want to rush it or anything. To be honest, I kind of love that this takes forever because every time I get to write about Guatemala again, my heart starts to swell and I feel super happy. But I also realize that we’re aging. So, I’ll get right to it.
This happens every time. Well, each time? I get back from Guatemala and I simmer like hamburger helper on the stove trying to reconcile what in the actual heck just happened.
When I think about what it means to be home, my mind starts to wander a bit. My definition of what ‘home’ looks like has changed so much. But, what I’m certain of is that my heart has multiple homes.
One of them is Guatemala. Continue reading
Guess what? I have trust issues. I’m just gonna leave that right there for a minute. Continue reading
Ever hear a ‘no’? Like, there is something that you just know that you’re supposed to pursue and you even feel like God is like, ‘yep, totally. i’ve got you and you’ve got this.’ and then, like a giant punch in the gut, just.no.
And the natural response is, ‘but whyyyyyyyyyy?’ And i only add ‘y’s’ like that because i say it all super whiny-like. We don’t get it. We feel cheated and well, just sort of stupid because we were so sure that we heard the affirmation we needed to move forward. This happens to you, too, right? Because I’m saying ‘we’ since I don’t want to assume
believe it’s just me. Continue reading
I will literally never forget that moment. It’s funny when I say things like that because I have that brief pause and reminder siren go off in my brain that says, ‘Ha! Thank goodness because you know you’ve forgotten everything else!’ But really, truly, I won’t forget that moment.