how can i keep from singing?

I’ve mentioned that I feel really fortunate to be a part of my church’s band. We’re small, but we’ve gelled over time and have been able to share our love for music with others and, hopefully, haven’t left them too disappointed. I’ve also mentioned how it hasn’t been the same since we lost one of our favorite members, Paul, back in April. It’s honestly been very difficult to keep going without him because often, I will hear his voice (or his broken g-string). There are a few songs that only take a moment to get going before I can hear him in the background. And I’m honestly hoping it remains that way forever. 

Paul came to mind most recently because a good friend of mine from work invited me to a service at her church last night. It reminded me of a hymn sing from back in the day … like way back, but this is no small venue and there was only one “hymn” in the true sense. I decided to go because I love singing and I knew the group would be amazing. It’s always fun to see other bands at large churches. It reminds me we have something to aspire to.

The service was amazing. At one point, a former worship leader (now working on planting a church), spoke about something he thought was pretty phenomenal. Obviously, singing is a passion of his and he shared that he’d learned Jesus also sang. He sang with the disciples following the Last Supper. How unbelievably inspiring, he reflected, that Jesus full-well knowing what was coming chose to sing. And, in fact, he sang songs of praise from the Psalms.

We shared communion shortly thereafter. One of the guitarists came forward and sang the song, ‘Wonderful Cross.’ I got through most of it but then, he sang that part. The entire time I sang with him I kept thinking … ‘I’ll make it through unless he gets to that part and sings it like Paul did. And sure enough, he sang it I couldn’t stop the tears.

I just kept thinking about Jesus singing through his emotional pain knowing what He would face and how, many times, Paul probably sang through pain as well. And how many of us also likely do, for one reason or another. Following communion, we sang ‘Amazing Grace’, hymn-sing style. And while I did get sad thinking of my friend and just loss in general, I know my heart felt full when I left, likely because I just kept singing.

[309.365] morning

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