#tbt

It’s been one of those weeks that comes with so many ebbs and flows that you really just start to feel a bit seasick by the end of it. Although I’m not actually going to throw up, I can’t lie and say that I haven’t wanted to a few times. 

There has been some really good and cool stuff. For example, my baby niece is thirteen today. THIRTEEN. How in the heck is that possible?! I was remembering the day she was born. Lots happened. My sister went bipolar on me over McDonald’s. I remember really enjoying the photos. I remember trying to figure out how that giant baby … was born.

And my oldest niece? Well, she passed her driver’s test. Wait. Do you hear that? Yes, yes you do. It’s a choir or angels singing in the heavens. ‘Alleluia, alleluia …’. It’s a beautiful song and one that my niece is likely singing as well. And my sister. And her husband.

But this week has also had some serious low points. Just yuk. No, inquisitive readers. I’m not going to talk about them because then I’ll start crying again and frankly, my eyes are dry. Ask my sister. She got to see the ugly. Poor girl. Well, I will say that March and April are tough months when it comes to fresh loss. I’m thankful I have hope in eternity.

There was an interesting request from one of my mom friends the other day. She asked each of us to find a photo of ourselves over the past ten years that we would want to share; a photo we really loved of ourselves. Guess who doesn’t love photos of herself? This girl. I also don’t have that many. Coincidence? I think not.

Out of curiousity, I looked through the archives of Facebook for something I might have posted that I also liked. I actually found several photos of myself that I could have considered okay, but I also thought about how I felt at that time; how that smile might have been similar to the smile I faked several times this week just to get through. The fake smile was for a variety of reasons, but I decided I didn’t want to choose any of those photos because although I didn’t look freakish, I knew what that girl was thinking. And I didn’t like that much.

But, I found this one. This photo was taken almost five years ago. It was taken on a vacation my little family took to Colorado. Most of my friends know I left a little piece of my heart in Colorado; for a while, I wanted to live there. Well, I still would love to live there but the logistics are a bit more complicated. At any rate, I met some very dear mom friends there and a very special little girl. I also felt a closeness to God that I don’t think is possible in Michigan. The elevation might have played a role in that. Anyway, I love this photo of myself because my heart was full. I was really smiling.

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Although life can be a lot like this week, with it’s ebbs and flows, I’m so thankful that I can reflect and know that there were and are real smiles, and that there are sure to be more real ones in the future as well. I hope the same for you.

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