it’s still broken

That’s what the on-call orthopedic PA said after she’d spent a good 45 minutes or so yanking and twisting my wrist back into place. I only know those were the activities because I woke once out of sedation. Can I get an ‘ouch, please stop that?!’

We were looking at the X-ray and she said she was really happy with how things had gone but that, indeed, it was still broken. I honestly felt a little dumbfounded as she said it. I could see there was a line separating one part of my radius from the other, but was it still broken? It looked mended, or at least in place. And honestly? That was a far cry better than what I’d seen earlier. ‘Hello, snake hand lady.’

I read a post a bit ago from a woman whom I admire very much. Dee Dee writes in a really beautiful, heart-felt way and I remember telling her as they were facing the loss of their sweet granddaughter late last year that I hoped she would tell their story one day. She’s been doing that for a while now and her post today was a bit like the end of chapter one. (I still believe there is more, Dee Dee! I’ll be waiting.)

Anyway, her post really resonated with me tonight. I’ve long been a Christian; I probably have been born again a few more times than I like to admit. I mean, how many times can one be born? But, I think about that moment when I heard my bone was still broken and it makes sense. Our hearts, our souls, are simply pieces of brokenness that are slowly being healed … restored. It starts the moment we’re born. We’re born into this world of sin and there isn’t anything you or I can do to get away from that outside of live in a giant, white bubble. I say white because if it were clear, well, we’d just see too much.

I know a lot of people get really angry about the foolishness of Christians; what with our screwing up constantly, day in and day out. But it’s just because we’re humans, too. And God gave us the ability to choose how to live on a daily basis so although we’re not trying to be ‘of’ the world, we’re still certainly in it and there are A LOT of things in this world that are just as tempting as that fruit in the middle of the garden. And there sure are a lot of serpents leading our mending souls astray.

And there are, also, unfortunately A LOT of things that happen in this world that are just wrong. And unfair. And painful. I have had my heart broken a million times for people suffering through things I just can’t understand and trust me when I say if there was anything I could do to take the pain away, I would.

But Jesus did that, didn’t he? He went and took all of that junk and awfulness and tossed it on His shoulders and said, “Here, let me carry that for you. I love you that much.” So I guess my heart just wants to throw out there that there is something better. After the difficult part, of course. But it’s there, and it’s going to be great; and it’s going to be wild and it’s going to be full of Him. (some lyrics from a favorite song of mine)

So take a moment and read Dee Dee’s thoughts. Think about how you can respond in those moments of absolute pain and how the fact that we have hope for our future can alter that reaction. After all, the brokenness is part of what connects us to each other and I like to be connected to you all. It’s more fun to heal with friends.

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