I’ve stolen twice in the last week. Yep. I’m admitting it right here. Right now. Methinks I have a few too many things on my mind. That, or, I’m truly going to have to stop using the top of the cart as a spot for items I’m planning to purchase.

The scene: Meijer

The scenario: I’d just finished up shopping and walked outside to unload my bags. The weather was calm. It was 6:30ish and I’d had a long (enough) day at work. I threw the last bag in the trunk and grabbed my purse when I discovered the sweet little kiwi. It was just sitting there looking at me as if to say, ‘i think you forgot about me …’ I stopped and debated. I’d shut the trunk. There wasn’t a home for the kiwi in one of my existing bags. And at this point, yes, I’m aware I could re-open the trunk but that’s so haaaaaard.

I looked at the kiwi, picked it up and took the cart to it’s appropriate destination (because you don’t leave the carts in the middle of the parking lot, PEOPLE). I hauled back into the store, walked up to the u-scan and paid for that darn single kiwi. $.50.

The lessons learned:

• Place groceries in the large storage area in the cart. The top is for eggs and purses only
• When the machine says, ‘please check your cart to make sure you’ve retrieved all items’ (or whatever it says), just do a once-over. Don’t be like me … ‘yes, i’ve checked my cart. duh.’ #snottyvoice
• Kiwis can have a subconscious conversation with you
• You get more steps in when you have to traipse back in to the store
• Once the trunk is closed, it’s a requirement you don’t re-open until you get home. Ain’t nobody got time for that

Unfortunately, fast forward to today where I had to reconsider some of the lessons I’d thought I’d learned …

The scene: Target

The scenario: It was about 6:30 after a long (enough) day at work. I needed to stop to make a return and figured I’d grab groceries while I was there. Side note: Target’s new devilish scheme of $5 gift cards when you buy 3 whatever’s is not ok. I got home and swear it appears I’m stockpiling for Y2K15. Or a storm. I think the former may come first.

Anyway, I made the colossal mistake of sticking a tube of Goo Gone in my cart. By my purse. Maybe that area should really only be reserved for purses, eggs and small children. But if you do have small children, don’t put the eggs up there. #justsayin’

When I walked out of the store and into the parking lot after trying to load the Cartwheel app for fifteen minutes, I put away all of my items grabbed my purse and ‘WABAM,’ there was the Goo Gone. Dang it. So, I did what made sense and threw it in the trunk.

I promptly had a very difficult conversation with myself. But, this time it wasn’t the Goo Gone talking back. It was resting peacefully in amongst my K-Cups. Before 30 seconds passed, I popped open the trunk, grabbed the freakin’ Goo Gone and hauled back into the store.

I walked up to an open lane and said, ‘Hey there.’

He asked how I was doing and I said I was better now that I had paid for this Goo Gone that was hiding when I checked out.

He stopped. ‘Wait. You came back in here to pay for this?’

‘I just … I just. I just couldn’t leave with it.’

He said, ‘Wow. The world needs more people like you.’

The lessons learned:

• Goo Gone does not actually cost $2.49 at Target. It costs $1.06 with tax. That may have forced me to reconsider
• It’s easier to get a Starbucks if you’re leaving the store without a heaping cart of groceries
• The trunk can, in fact, be re-opened quite easily once packed
• A statement from a cashier who likely considered it insignificant can totally make your day

I could’ve easily swiped the $1.56 worth of goodies I’d stolen over the past week. But The Lord had other plans. I didn’t feel righteous at all after paying for those items. I literally couldn’t leave the parking lot knowing I hadn’t paid. I guess the cashier’s comment made both instances of hauling my butt back into the stores completely worth it. How often do we hear that the world needs more people like us? I don’t know about you, but I don’t hear that every day. But man, it sure was nice!

I just hope you know that, too. The world needs more people like you. So you keep on doing that good thing you’re doing … whether anybody knows about it or not. And if you fall to the klepto side of the spectrum like I do, just remember, it’s not going to kill you to re-open the trunk.