I’m starting to find a fitness rhythm I really enjoy. I’m doing all sorts of different things, rather than spending a considerable amount of time doing one activity that I’ll ultimately tire from. I try to fit something in everyday; of course that depends on the time I have, what time I roll out of bed in the morning and/or if I have the energy in the evening after Connor goes nighty-night. And, I’m having a lot of fun. Continue reading
Poor Connor got so upset tonight. He was carefully crafting a card for my mom for Mother’s Day. When he showed me, I noticed he’d written all the letters from right to left. He argued with me briefly that he always writes that way before admitting that he’d written the “G” like an “e” and decided to write the rest of the letters to the left of that so it wasn’t apparent. Then, he cried.
I’ve been mulling over what I’m going to share when it comes to my self-esteem/self-image/body issues nonsense I’ve been dealing with for pretty much … well, as long as I can remember.
For now, let me just say that its a little bit like the first time you ride a bicycle. I know, I know – that makes no sense.
Here’s my train of thought: Connor and I went for a ride last night, albeit brief (and slightly painful), but it reminded me of how young he is and how he is still fairly immature when it comes to pedaling a bike on his own. I still feel much the same when I consider my own issues.
Connor didn’t believe he could ride his bike until I shoved him down the yard a couple times last year. He had what he needed (including his helmet, goshdarnit), but the confidence just wasn’t there … without the push.
I need that push. I have everything I need to do to get better. Its not about a diet, or an exercise regimen, or feeling comfortable enough to wear
Spandex tight-fitting workout clothes; its about believing that I am healthy and strong as a result of all the work I’ve done and that I shouldn’t feel ashamed because my body doesn’t fit some perfect mold. It was carefully created for really big things and I need to believe that and let it propel me … right for where I’m headed.