pray-er

[122.365] i'm so proud

unfortunately, he may have gotten this from me.

Okay, so the photo has nothing to do with the post. It just made me giggle. And would you look at those skinny little legs?! He definitely doesn’t get that from his mother!

Anyway, when Connor and I have just a couple of days together, I always get super sad when we get home late. But, Spring means sports and sports means less time at home. That’s just the way it is. Of course I love it. I love watching Connor play soccer and baseball. I love (for roughly 5.25 minutes) when he demands playing on the playground after practices or games, and when he makes goofy faces at me because he is annoyed I’m trying to capture another photo.  Continue reading

use your words

Guess what?! Spring finally arrived this weekend. It felt like as soon as the sun was up Saturday morning, we were out enjoying it. We played soccer and then, after a few errands, some ball practice and a visit to a playground not far down the road.

Connor found one slide that he reeeeaaaly liked. He would grasp the top and repeatedly ask me, “Mom, can you see my shoe?” Sometimes I couldn’t, sometimes I didn’t really want to bend down to look and other times it was in plain sight. “Yes, Connor, I can see your shoe. What is this game again?”

After getting nice and dizzy on the tire swing, he was back in the tube. When I half-expected to crane my neck again to see his shoe, I heard him ask, “Mom, what does a-s-s spell? Does that spell ass?” Yes, yes it does, Connor. And please, don’t use that word.

Now, don’t get me wrong, I love this age where Connor is reading and sounding out everything. I’m not even mad at him for asking me what it was he was trying to piece together.

Nope. I’m mad that someone felt it necessary to etch on the inside of a slide a word that my seven-year-old shouldn’t see at.the.playground. It’s sort of like the time that he went into the restroom at a restaurant and came out asking me what f … (you know what I’m getting at, right?) spelled.

Even then, I wasn’t mad at him for asking. I was upset that someone chose to put that language on a counter in a bathroom. And it wasn’t like they etched it into the surface at a level where an adult might see it. Nope, it was at perfect eye height for an almost six-year-old.

I am all for freedom of speech, expression .. all of that. But, really? Really? I don’t know … maybe it’s healthy and good for Connor to be exposed to things like that so he can ask the question, and thankfully I was there to answer. But, then I also have to think that it might not be all that helpful because 1.) he’s seeing how common and apparently cool it is to destroy someone else’s property and 2.) words are just words that apparently should be read by everyone, especially CHILDREN. On a SLIDE.

I think we all know how I feel about words. They aren’t just that. At all. Sadly, I saw a few other words drawn into the wood and other features of the playground that I’m really happy Connor did not see to ask me about. I wouldn’t have known how to explain some to him.

Point is … I won’t be there all the time to explain it to him and as much as I’d love to keep whining about someone else’s choice to infiltrate his brain with nonsense, I might as well just do my best to make sure he knows that activity, in and of itself, is not okay with this mama and if he ever feels the need to send a message to someone else, I hope it’s a positive one.

showing the slide a little love.

showing the slide a little love.

 

wordless wednesday

[101.365] so long, my friend

[101.365] so long, my friend

Just like last Thursday, the rain is pouring down. As frustrating as the rain can be, it can also signal re-birth and growth (although I’m none too thrilled about having left a perfectly beautiful day in Florida to see it). Our band gathered for the first time tonight after losing our friend and just like the last time we sang, I could still hear his voice and like the rain, the sound was peaceful and refreshing. Thanks for blessing us tonight with your presence, Paul.

death on a tree

It’s just after the end of a Good Friday. More than some in the past, I feel like the timing was perfect. Many of us needed it; the reminder of who Jesus was, all that He stood for and what he did … for ALL of us. I think today’s message is very simple. And very clear.

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21 To this you were called, because Christ suffered for you, leaving you an example, that you should follow in his steps.

22 “He committed no sin, and no deceit was found in his mouth.”

23 When they hurled their insults at him, he did not retaliate; when he suffered, he made no threats. Instead, he entrusted himself to him who judges justly. 24 “He himself bore our sins” in his body on the cross, so that we might die to sins and live for righteousness; “by his wounds you have been healed.”  – 1 Peter 2:21-24

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music and light

A couple weeks ago, I received an email from World Vision inquiring if I would be interested in volunteering at the upcoming Winter Jam 2013 concert in Grand Rapids. I thought it sounded pretty awesome as 1.) I love the mission of World Vision, 2.) Winter Jam brings in a heap of amazing Christian artists and 3.) it would be free.

The concert was last night and it did not disappoint. We arrived early for a quick training and I couldn’t believe the number of people outside. The event is very cheap ($10/head) and there is no assigned seating so as soon as the doors open, screaming kids fans flock in every direction. We were fortunate enough to get right in (read: avoid waiting outside at all) and find seats in our assigned section before doors opened for general admission. The arena was completely sold out; and some, unfortunately, were turned away.

I believe it was Newsong that first made use of this giant disco ball that I’d somehow missed positioned in the middle of the arena. I’m here to tell you … when that thing lit up I think my face did also … like that of a child. It was breathtaking.

[83.365] best.disco.ball.ever.
We didn’t stay for the entire concert (what? i’m old.), but we did see several great performances, a great speaker and three people in my section signed up to sponsor World Vision children. Yay! I think my favorite part was seeing the response from the youth in the audience. We were also asked to hand out books including the Gospel of John for the main speaker. I had so many kids in my section request copies that I ran out. How awesome is that?! And out of the three sponsorships I received back, two were young men. Again, awesome.

When we left, Matthew West was performing his song ‘Strong Enough.’ In addition to everything else I witnessed last night, the song’s lyrics were such a great reminder that I’m not in this alone. Well, those and the several thousand other people around me.

” … Cause I’m broken down to nothing; But I’m still holding on to the one thing; You are God and you are strong; When I am weak.
I can do all things; Through Christ who gives me strength; And I don’t have to be strong enough, Strong enough …”

uncle harry’s sunset

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[67.375] for harry

south haven, march 8, 2013

Last Friday was a really rough day. I woke with a caffeine headache (of course!) and the knowledge that my Uncle Harry had opted out of further intervention to heal his failing body. I left work early to get some rest and in anticipation of that call. I was laying on the couch when my mom called and let me know that he had decided to go home at 4:20 in the afternoon on the same day when previously his dad was born, and his older sister was buried.

The sun was beaming in my window; it was warm and beautiful and I had this overwhelming feeling that I needed to go watch the sunset. I took my camera in the hopes that it would live up to what I’d hoped and as I sat there through tears and smiles thinking of that mischievous guy, I snapped a few photos. I sent this one to my cousins and let them both know that they were on my mind and that I watched this gorgeous sun saying goodnight just like Harry had a couple hours earlier. They opted to use the photo for the funeral program (which was a huge honor!). Inside the program was this poem:

Do you know the hour when the sun goes down is a beautiful time of day, when your task is done and the shadows fall and your worries are laid away?

Well, it’s just as true that the close of life can a beautiful sunset be, every task well done, let the shadows fall, there’s no fear of eternity. – G. Gilbert

Goodnight, Uncle Harry. Your smile, quick wit, pipe and plaid shirts will never be forgotten by this niece. Thank you for sharing that final sunset with me.

holding hands

I’ve spent a good amount of time thinking about the very simple act of holding hands this week. It is really quite beautiful. Maybe its beauty lies in its simplicity?

Anyway, I love to hold hands. I always have. When you think about how much you do with your hands on a daily basis, it seems … well … very utilitarian and almost, lonely. We eat. We drive. We work. But, that moment when you reach out and grab on to someone’s hand, you’re connected. Continue reading