on being alone

I was relaying to someone today that I haven’t ever lived alone. I was born into a home with two loving parents and a sister who tolerated me. I moved into a college dorm sharing a room and suite with three other girls. I then moved into a house with three other girls and had three housemates until I graduated from college. I may have spent a brief time at the house by myself after I graduated but most days, I found myself back at home, aka my parents’ house, aka where food was free and better. Continue reading

schooled

There are conversations that Connor and I have that leave me scratching my head. He is amazingly smart. His memory is far superior to mine. Let me just quality that, prior to being pregnant with Connor, I think my memory was awesome. I mean, I don’t remember … but, I’m sure it was good. These days, I’m lucky to remember where I put my coffee cup. Continue reading

shake it ’til you make it

I’ve always been fond of dancing. I still tease my mom because she didn’t enroll me in dance when I was a youngster. I mean, can’t you visualize me in a tight little number stomping gliding across a wooden floor?

High school dances proved problematic. The dancing part was a riot but I usually wound up in tears because some boy liked some other girl and I was just ‘that girl guys like to be friends with’. Continue reading

a brand new ending

It’s time.

It’s time that I introduce you to my new site; my new chapter. I wrote a (likely too long) summary of what I’m doing here. I have to be honest … I’m equal parts scared and excited to share this journey that is otherwise known as my life.

I have so many things I want to share. First, though, I just want to talk to the kid that makes me get out of bed every day. Continue reading

something old, something new

So, there’s this new little site called Pinterest. Have you heard of it?

Although its likely a silly question, I promise I’ll invite you if you’re not a member. The advent of what is now the third-largest social media blew my mind. I’m not even kidding. I think I love Pinterest (and the ‘Pin It’ button now prominently displayed on my browser’s toolbar). Continue reading

why it’s like learning to ride a bicycle

I’ve been mulling over what I’m going to share when it comes to my self-esteem/self-image/body issues nonsense I’ve been dealing with for pretty much … well, as long as I can remember.

For now, let me just say that its a little bit like the first time you ride a bicycle. I know, I know – that makes no sense.

Here’s my train of thought: Connor and I went for a ride last night, albeit brief (and slightly painful), but it reminded me of how young he is and how he is still fairly immature when it comes to pedaling a bike on his own. I still feel much the same when I consider my own issues.

Connor didn’t believe he could ride his bike until I shoved him down the yard a couple times last year. He had what he needed (including his helmet, goshdarnit), but the confidence just wasn’t there … without the push.

I need that push. I have everything I need to do to get better. Its not about a diet, or an exercise regimen, or feeling comfortable enough to wear Spandex tight-fitting workout clothes; its about believing that I am healthy and strong as a result of all the work I’ve done and that I shouldn’t feel ashamed because my body doesn’t fit some perfect mold. It was carefully created for really big things and I need to believe that and let it propel me … right for where I’m headed.