wrong turns

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They say there is a ‘road of life.’ (Hey, who are they anyway? I’ve always wondered that).

Anyway, if life is a road, I guess we all get to that point where we have the opportunity to drive. Obviously, you can’t start out driving, but it doesn’t take long and then BAM, there you are … on that road. Continue reading

a little before and after

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Let me start by saying … I am not a fan of “selfies”. For those who are not all up to speed on the kids’ lingo, Urban Dictionary defines a selfy (why yes, there is a plural and singular version of this made-up word) as follows: A strange phenomenon in which the photographer is also the subject of the photograph, in a subversive twist on the traditional understanding of the photograph. Usually conducted because the subject cannot locate a suitable photographer to take the photo, like a friend.

Basically, I didn’t have anyone to take a photo. Like a friend. At the moment. Well, I have friends. I think. Continue reading

use your words

Guess what?! Spring finally arrived this weekend. It felt like as soon as the sun was up Saturday morning, we were out enjoying it. We played soccer and then, after a few errands, some ball practice and a visit to a playground not far down the road.

Connor found one slide that he reeeeaaaly liked. He would grasp the top and repeatedly ask me, “Mom, can you see my shoe?” Sometimes I couldn’t, sometimes I didn’t really want to bend down to look and other times it was in plain sight. “Yes, Connor, I can see your shoe. What is this game again?”

After getting nice and dizzy on the tire swing, he was back in the tube. When I half-expected to crane my neck again to see his shoe, I heard him ask, “Mom, what does a-s-s spell? Does that spell ass?” Yes, yes it does, Connor. And please, don’t use that word.

Now, don’t get me wrong, I love this age where Connor is reading and sounding out everything. I’m not even mad at him for asking me what it was he was trying to piece together.

Nope. I’m mad that someone felt it necessary to etch on the inside of a slide a word that my seven-year-old shouldn’t see at.the.playground. It’s sort of like the time that he went into the restroom at a restaurant and came out asking me what f … (you know what I’m getting at, right?) spelled.

Even then, I wasn’t mad at him for asking. I was upset that someone chose to put that language on a counter in a bathroom. And it wasn’t like they etched it into the surface at a level where an adult might see it. Nope, it was at perfect eye height for an almost six-year-old.

I am all for freedom of speech, expression .. all of that. But, really? Really? I don’t know … maybe it’s healthy and good for Connor to be exposed to things like that so he can ask the question, and thankfully I was there to answer. But, then I also have to think that it might not be all that helpful because 1.) he’s seeing how common and apparently cool it is to destroy someone else’s property and 2.) words are just words that apparently should be read by everyone, especially CHILDREN. On a SLIDE.

I think we all know how I feel about words. They aren’t just that. At all. Sadly, I saw a few other words drawn into the wood and other features of the playground that I’m really happy Connor did not see to ask me about. I wouldn’t have known how to explain some to him.

Point is … I won’t be there all the time to explain it to him and as much as I’d love to keep whining about someone else’s choice to infiltrate his brain with nonsense, I might as well just do my best to make sure he knows that activity, in and of itself, is not okay with this mama and if he ever feels the need to send a message to someone else, I hope it’s a positive one.

showing the slide a little love.

showing the slide a little love.

 

music and light

A couple weeks ago, I received an email from World Vision inquiring if I would be interested in volunteering at the upcoming Winter Jam 2013 concert in Grand Rapids. I thought it sounded pretty awesome as 1.) I love the mission of World Vision, 2.) Winter Jam brings in a heap of amazing Christian artists and 3.) it would be free.

The concert was last night and it did not disappoint. We arrived early for a quick training and I couldn’t believe the number of people outside. The event is very cheap ($10/head) and there is no assigned seating so as soon as the doors open, screaming kids fans flock in every direction. We were fortunate enough to get right in (read: avoid waiting outside at all) and find seats in our assigned section before doors opened for general admission. The arena was completely sold out; and some, unfortunately, were turned away.

I believe it was Newsong that first made use of this giant disco ball that I’d somehow missed positioned in the middle of the arena. I’m here to tell you … when that thing lit up I think my face did also … like that of a child. It was breathtaking.

[83.365] best.disco.ball.ever.
We didn’t stay for the entire concert (what? i’m old.), but we did see several great performances, a great speaker and three people in my section signed up to sponsor World Vision children. Yay! I think my favorite part was seeing the response from the youth in the audience. We were also asked to hand out books including the Gospel of John for the main speaker. I had so many kids in my section request copies that I ran out. How awesome is that?! And out of the three sponsorships I received back, two were young men. Again, awesome.

When we left, Matthew West was performing his song ‘Strong Enough.’ In addition to everything else I witnessed last night, the song’s lyrics were such a great reminder that I’m not in this alone. Well, those and the several thousand other people around me.

” … Cause I’m broken down to nothing; But I’m still holding on to the one thing; You are God and you are strong; When I am weak.
I can do all things; Through Christ who gives me strength; And I don’t have to be strong enough, Strong enough …”

uncle harry’s sunset

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[67.375] for harry

south haven, march 8, 2013

Last Friday was a really rough day. I woke with a caffeine headache (of course!) and the knowledge that my Uncle Harry had opted out of further intervention to heal his failing body. I left work early to get some rest and in anticipation of that call. I was laying on the couch when my mom called and let me know that he had decided to go home at 4:20 in the afternoon on the same day when previously his dad was born, and his older sister was buried.

The sun was beaming in my window; it was warm and beautiful and I had this overwhelming feeling that I needed to go watch the sunset. I took my camera in the hopes that it would live up to what I’d hoped and as I sat there through tears and smiles thinking of that mischievous guy, I snapped a few photos. I sent this one to my cousins and let them both know that they were on my mind and that I watched this gorgeous sun saying goodnight just like Harry had a couple hours earlier. They opted to use the photo for the funeral program (which was a huge honor!). Inside the program was this poem:

Do you know the hour when the sun goes down is a beautiful time of day, when your task is done and the shadows fall and your worries are laid away?

Well, it’s just as true that the close of life can a beautiful sunset be, every task well done, let the shadows fall, there’s no fear of eternity. – G. Gilbert

Goodnight, Uncle Harry. Your smile, quick wit, pipe and plaid shirts will never be forgotten by this niece. Thank you for sharing that final sunset with me.

perseverance

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(n) 1. steady persistence in a course of action, a purpose, a state, etc.,
especially in spite of difficulties,obstacles, or discouragement.
2. Connor

This kid, he amazes me. Connor and I were blessed with a long weekend (yes, a planned day off from school is far preferred to an unexpected snow day) and I had some fun activities planned for Saturday and Sunday but was leaving Friday open for errands.

When Connor got up Friday, he declared that today was the.day. that he would start (and finish) building his Malevolence LEGO ship he got for his birthday. We’d been waiting for a good, long stretch to work on it because it includes just under 1,100 pieces. I told him that he could definitely get started on it and then we were going to run up to Grandville to take care of some mom things. He got to work and calculated just how many pages he would have to get through. That would be 134.

He got through page 20 and I told him it was time to get our move on. I remembered (quickly) how little kids like errands. He was asking in the car how many places we had to stop. <warning>Parents everywhere: This.is.a.trap Be vague. Don’t give a direct answer.</warning> I told him that I wasn’t sure, but it would include Hobby Lobby, Lowe’s and the meat locker. What? These aren’t your normal errand-type stops?

We got through our errands in about three hours (mind you, the drive was a little over an hour and a half of it) and he immediately got back to the ship. At one point he said, “Um, a little help here?” I was quick to jump in because I could tell throughout that he did not want my help. He really wanted to tackle it himself. He did stop to ask me a couple times if I thought there was any way he could finish it and I told him that if he put his head down and focused on it that very likely, yes, he could.

studying

studying

So, at about 8:20, he asked for help one last time to get the ship’s top in place and voila!, the Malevolence was flight-ready.

Can I take one moment to ask the LEGO company to STOP including ‘extra’ pieces? I have mini panic attacks (and I’m not the only one; a girlfriend at work and I chatted about this today) when I see those 4 extra pieces per bag just laying there taunting us as if to say, ‘Oops, you missed a step.’ Not a fan.

Of course, CJ was uber-impressed with his LEGO-prowess and declared himself smarter than any nine-year-old that ever lived because surely not one of them could’ve built the same ship in 6.5 hours like he did. Oh yes, I missed noting that the set was designed for 9-14 year old LEGO maniacs.

Then, Saturday, after his last basketball practice, I took him to an indoor rock climbing place just south of Grand Rapids. I’d found a deal for a couple day passes and I thought it sounded like something he would really like. We had climbed last summer an an outside wall at Ropes Course, Inc., but this was his first time inside.

We were equipped with our harnesses and I was taught how to belay. Tip for future visits: Belayers (I have no idea if that’s what they’re actually called) should wear gloves. The burn on my thumb is a reminder. Connor made his way up the first climb. The staffer was pretty impressed and just commented, “He has no fear.” He certainly does not.

[61.365] going up

going up

That was the first of three routes he would finish (multiple times). He even found on a subsequent trip up that particular wall had an easy button. He said, “Mom, there’s a button up here. Should I push it?” Immediately, my response was, “No, it could be a fire alarm!” Wait, why would the fire alarm be up that high? He said, “Well, it says something. E-a- .. easy.” I chuckled. “Yes, you may push it.” He then pressed it multiple times to hear, “That was easy.”

Connor climbed for two straight hours. The last couple of times he went up I could tell he was wearing down. A couple times he would hang back from the wall to take a break. I reminded him that meant I was holding him up. “Oh, sorry Mom.” I asked him if he wanted to come down and he just responded each time with, “No, I’m not gonna quit.”

holding hands

I’ve spent a good amount of time thinking about the very simple act of holding hands this week. It is really quite beautiful. Maybe its beauty lies in its simplicity?

Anyway, I love to hold hands. I always have. When you think about how much you do with your hands on a daily basis, it seems … well … very utilitarian and almost, lonely. We eat. We drive. We work. But, that moment when you reach out and grab on to someone’s hand, you’re connected. Continue reading

wordless (just past) wednesday

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footprints

So I said to the Lord, “You promised me Lord, that if I followed you, you would walk with me always. But I have noticed that during the most trying periods of my life there have only been one set of footprints in the sand. Why, when I needed you most, have you not been there for me?” The Lord replied, “The times when you have seen only one set of footprints, is when I carried you.”  – Mary Stevenson

 

Thanks to my dear friend, Lisa, for sending me this very important reminder. Love you, Lis!